For He knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust (Ps 103:14)

The verse above is something I've been trying to cling to this week. I have felt very worn out from the past two weeks and I think it all caught up to me at once. Who would have thought that being around a bunch of kids and lesson planning everyday could be so tiring?! I now have a new appreciation for teachers ;).

This week, I decided to be a group leader instead of a station leader because I needed a break. The responsibilities of a group leader is to come up with a group name and chant and take the children of your specific group from one station to the next. Sounds much easier, right? It was, which was delightful. However, it wasn't always easy. My group was made up of little boys, two of which were only around 3 years old. And one was certainly a handful!

Our camps this week were at Manzanillo and at a chapel right outside/on the edge of Monte Cristi. The camp at Manzanillo was held at a local park, which was nice because there was shade. The little boys that I had were really timid, but I think they had a lot of fun. Michael, the boy who was a handful, was all over the place. He was really too young to even be there because he did not have the capability of paying the least bit of attention or sitting still haha. On the other hand, he was the cutest little chunk. On the last day, another boy around the same age would copy everything he did. They would run off together, play in the dirt, roll around, anything and everything. During the activity station, the boys got to play with bubbles, and Michael ran as fast as he could to catch them. Needless to say, he endured a few falls, one of which split his pants right up his crack. It was then very apparent that this little boy was going commando. haha. We could not help but to laugh. It was so funny when he discovered what had happened. He loved attention, so he wouldn't stop showing everyone. I think all of the leaders, or atleast me, laughed out of stress, while the other boys just couldn't contain themselves.

The camp at the chapel outside of town was an awesome experience. The first day we didn't have any kids waiting on us, so we had to go recruit some. There was something different about these boys. You just couldn't help but to love them deeply. One of the most memorable and touching experiences was on the last day. I had a boy in my group that thought he was tough stuff. He wouldn't really talk to me, but he sat next to me. He walked with an attitude and seemed to enjoy having a smirk on his face. But when I tickled him, his smile lit up. It was very obvious that desperately wanted to be loved. He would try to act mean when he didn't get his way, but when he was given positive attention his whole demeanor would change. At the end I gave him some stickers off of our sign. I told him that if he waited and didn't leave, he would receive a present. We planned to give all the kids a dental set with a toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss at the end of camp. I don't think he believed me at first, but when all the kids lined up he ran to join in. He was so excited when he got his own set. He gave me a big hug and had a huge smile on his face. I didn't want to leave that day. I wanted to stay and just take care of this little boy. It's really hard to leave when you feel like you have made a strong connection.

This trip has been a roller coaster for me. God has been really awesome, but the trip has been trying. I think I have had a breakdown every week now. It has been hard to connect with the kids at the orphanage here. We hold camps out in the community throughout the week, at which the kids at the orphanage don't always attend. The orphanage has specifically planned certain weeks with orphanage outreach to attend the camps. We are still located here on the same grounds, and are able to hang out with the kids during our free time. We just don't always have a lot of free time. Not to mention, the kids themselves aren't exactly excited to build relationships with the volunteers. I think I had this mental picture before I came that the kids at the orphanage would be so excited to have people come spend time with them and play. But the reality is that they've seen so many volunteers come in and out, they just aren't as eager to build friendships. The other side of that is that I'm not a super extroverted person. This is just something I've been thinking about this week and struggling with. I'm trying not to compare myself to others, and just focus on pleasing the Lord. It's hard though. I've spent much time in prayer over this. In just one week, the Christian program that I'm in is moving to a different orphanage in Jaibon. I've obviously learned through this experience how to start out differently at the other orphanage. But as for this last week, I'm trusting the Spirit would just lead me and do a work. I just want to be a vessel for the Lord to use for His glory. And the truth may be that He has sent me to this particular location to make an impact in the community and with the other volunteers here. I have strongly felt since the first week that God wanted to use me to minister to the other interns here, whether it be by encouraging them or shedding light/truth. I have no doubt that the Lord has been using me in this way.

Last night, I was utterly broken after my friend shared her testimony. I think that was the first time I actually sobbed after hearing someone's story. Part of it was that I care for her so much. It's amazing to me what God takes us through in order for us to know Him. For me it was losing my dad. For others it can be just as painful, but in a different way. It's hard to understand at the time, but the Lord knows what is best for each one of us and He wants us to seek Him with our whole hearts. Sometimes we are blinded to who He is, until something is ripped from us and our eyes are openned. I ended up going up to the roof (which is a flat patio like setting) to spend time with God last night. It's amazing how comforting His Word can be. I openned up my Bible, and it fell to Isaiah 40. The title is Comfort for God's People. How perfect. Then I was read on to Isaiah 41. Fear Not For I Am With You. The night sky was awesome. It was soo good just to see His glory revealed in the moon and stars, and to know that He was there with me. I am so thankful that He has repeatedly brought me to a place of brokenness so I am more aware of Him.

Prayer requests:
-This next week, as it is my last week in Monte Cristi. (The kids here at the orphanage, and saying goodbye to many of the interns who are leaving---it's going to be really hard---definitely another breakdown in the near future (:  )
-That camps would go well this week. We have a huge group of volunteers this week and hope to have a giant camp in the mornings, then we will be splitting into two in the afternoon and going back the slums/bateys.
-For God's strength in my life. I need to be energized by Him.
-For continued brokenness and humility.
-For the health of each one of the volunteers.
-For God's glory to revealed through each and every one of us.
-That we may have the pleasure to see the fruit of our work this week through atleast one child. ;)

Praise and Glory be to God alone!

Love from the D.R.

"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand and makerd off the heavens with a span, enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure and weighed the mountains in scales and the hills in a balance?" Isaiah 40:12
"He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength." (Isaiah 40:29)